


3:01 am

by silvreon



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Cuddles!, Fluff, M/M, mostly hyunwoo's thoughts about hoseok, seok worries about being left alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24532867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvreon/pseuds/silvreon
Summary: Sometimes after the sun goes down, the dorm is enveloped in dim shadows and everyone disappears into their rooms for the night, Hyunwoo will collapse into the sofa near their kitchen and take a moment of quietness to relax.Sometimes Hoseok joins him. Those nights are Hyunwoo’s favorites, although he hasn’t told this to Hoseok yet.
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	3:01 am

**Author's Note:**

> hello! firstly i just want to say i wrote 90% of this about a year ago which is why i had written about hoseoks particular worries like this... second this fic is kind of a mess and unedited and i was planning to give up on it but then i figured i might as well post it for anyone missing some showho ^^

Sometimes after the sun goes down, the dorm is enveloped in dim shadows and everyone disappears into their rooms for the night, Hyunwoo will collapse into the sofa near their kitchen and take a moment of quietness to relax. 

Sometimes Hoseok joins him. Those nights are Hyunwoo’s favorites, although he hasn’t told this to Hoseok yet. 

This particular night, it’s almost 3am when Hyunwoo melts into his spot on the couch. The day had been longer than usual, and all he wanted was to sleep, yet he was too tense to feel sleepy. Hyunwoo runs a hand across his face, sighing into the cold air. He should’ve brought a blanket, but now he doesn’t want to get up. 

His mind wanders, as it usually does, to the food he has in the fridge for tomorrow morning, and then the new choreo he’s been working on but can’t quite nail down, and then Hoseok, and then... he gets stuck on Hoseok. 

Hoseok and his warm smiles, his reassuring presence by his side... Hyunwoo can’t imagine having to live without seeing any one of his boys, but with Hoseok it’s different. It’s like... he feels uncomfortable and not like himself when he doesn’t get to talk to or even see Hoseok after a day or two. 

And with their busy schedules, it’s now been about 4 days since he’s even seen Hoseok around the dorm. Seen him awake anyway. Twice Hyunwoo had headed into his room to find him passed out, clearly just as exhausted or even more than Hyunwoo was himself. 

It’s weird how he feels this way. But Hyunwoo doesn’t even want to consider what will happen after he has to leave... 

Another sigh leaves him as he tilts his head back to rest on the sofa and closes his eyes. 

Hoseok used to say that he’d go with him at the same time, so Hyunwoo wouldn’t be alone. But lately... Hyunwoo isn’t sure if he’s changed his mind. It would be better for him to stay with the other boys anyway— without Hyunwoo they’d need Hoseok even more. Besides, Hoseok shouldn’t—

Hyunwoo’s train of thought is stopped suddenly when a blanket is draped over him. He blinks open his eyes, fully expecting Kihyun or maybe Changkyun. 

But it’s Hoseok. 

Hyunwoo gapes at him for a few moments. 

“Hoseok?” He has to ask, just because it’s mostly dark and he’d left his glasses in his room. 

The little laugh immediately gives it away when he replies, “Hyunwoo, this is why you need to wear your glasses, how else will you see my pretty face?” 

Hyunwoo scoffs, but he’s too happy to do anything but smile at him. “I know.. I didn’t think I’d be looking at anything pretty tonight though.”

Hoseok slowly sinks into the couch next to him, and Hyunwoo can almost instantly feel the exhaustion and weariness leaving his body. He glances over, now really wishing he’d brought his glasses to he could see if Hoseok was blushing or not. 

“Well, bring them next time,” Hoseok says quietly after a pause. Then he yawns, bringing up the sleeves of his hoodie to catch the end of the yawn. 

“Are you sleepy? You should go sleep,” Hyunwoo says, frowning a bit. He and Hoseok haven’t talked like this in weeks, but Hoseok getting his rest is more important. 

“I am... but...” There’s silence for a moment. And then Hoseok shuffles a little closer to Hyunwoo, turning his head to look at him in the faint light. “I missed you.”

He says it so quietly, almost a whisper, but he might as well have yelled it with how surprised Hyunwoo is by those words. 

“I... I missed you too,” Hyunwoo says slowly, kind of in shock that Hoseok maybe feels the same. “We’re just both so busy, it feels like forever since I’ve seen you.”

“I don’t like it,” Hoseok immediately huffs, and Hyunwoo can hear the pout in his words. 

He chuckles, still shaken by the small confession. “Don’t pout Hoseokie, it’s only these few weeks that are like this.” Hyunwoo reaches over to pat his knee, teasing him while also trying to tell himself to calm down. The term “gay panic” comes into his head for some reason, and Hyunwoo wonders for a moment if that’s what he’s feeling... No way. He suppresses a laugh at how ridiculous it is but Hoseok, his closest friend Hoseok, gets all whiny as he brushes off Hyunwoo's hand. 

“I tell you my deepest feelings and you laugh at me! I’m never telling you how I f-feel ever again!” 

Hyunwoo wants to coo at him, but he doesn’t. He does however notice, since Hoseok had raised his voice a little to whine, the small tremor most likely due to the cold. 

“I wasn’t laughing at you, but I don’t think you’ll be able to keep your deepest feelings to yourself for more than a minute,” Hyunwoo says it matter of factly. Then he adjusts the blanket over him, tucking it across Hoseok’s body so they can share body heat under it. 

There’s a small silence, and Hyunwoo begins mentally counting to 60 seconds. He’s 110% sure Hoseok is doing the same. 

Exactly 62 seconds later, Hoseok speaks up, “ I kept my secrets to myself for more than a minute. Now you have to do something for me.”

Hyunwoo just smiles. “I’ll do anything but get up and go to bed unless you sleep too.” 

The sofa creaks a bit as Hoseok shuffles around, and then Hyunwoo's heart quickens again when Hoseok slides close enough under the blanket so that their thighs are touching. 

This is... crazy. Do they always sit this close? Is Hoseok just cold? Why is Hyunwoo suddenly hyperaware of every breath coming from Hoseok’s lips.. 

Hyunwoo's so busy thinking that he almost misses it when Hoseok says, “Tell me what you were thinking about before I found you.”

“You,” Hyunwoo doesn’t even hesitate, although he kind of regrets it a second later. 

He hears a sharp intake of breath, knows Hoseok’s mouth is open in surprise, and is about to take back his word when the outline of Hoseok’s cheeks lift in a smile. 

And then he giggles. 

Hoseok giggles as he snuggles in closer and Hyunwoo feels an intensely strong... _something_. 

Why is everything Hoseok does so.... endearing? Is this what monbebe feel whenever Hoseok laughs? When he covers his mouth with a hand and squeezes his eyes shut tight? If it is then he has no idea how they’ve survived this long. 

“Hey,” Hyunwoo tries to grumble, shoving Hoseok’s shoulder gently with his. “Don’t laugh at me, or I’ll have to leave sooner.”

It’d been more of a joke, but Hyunwoo immediately feels bad when Hoseok’s laughter cuts off abruptly. 

The silence stretches between them again. Hyunwoo’s staring at the dark outline of a chair in their kitchen. Hoseok seems to be looking at his hands. 

The sound of the clock ticking, and some faint music from outside fills the air. And then, in the smallest voice, Hoseok says, “..don’t want you to leave.”

Hyunwoo frowns. He knows Hoseok has these certain fears. Fears that have come true too many times for him to just get over them. And he wishes he could make a promise right here that he’d never leave his side, he really does, but... Anything could happen and the last thing Hyunwoo wants to do is break a promise. 

He takes a small risk, leans his shoulder a little more against Hoseok, and is silently relieved when he presses back. 

“I don’t want to leave either,” Hyunwoo murmurs. “But you know... I have to. Just for a few years—“

“It’s not that,” Hoseok says suddenly, “I’m coming with you anyway, I... I know the boys can do fine on their own. It’ll be easier if we just get it over with together. I meant.. in general. Now and... after Monsta X... if that ever happens...”

Hyunwoo has been watching Hoseok’s silhouette this whole time, so he notices how he gets a little smaller, a little unsure. There’s a strong urge to wrap an arm around him and pull him close to his side and protect him from the whole world and Hyunwoo just... wants Hoseok to be happy. 

“I mean I don’t want there to be an end to Monsta X. Ever. But... I just.... don’t know.... whatever happens... just don’t leave me. Please...” Hoseok’s voice shakes at the end, and Hyunwoo really can’t help it. 

“..Seok—“ Hyunwoo’s arm is reaching around to pull Hoseok in before he can stop himself. He hadn’t been trying for anything else but then Hoseok turns his body fully towards him and kind of just melts into his chest in a tight hug. 

Okay, he had absolutely not been expecting that, but Hyunwoo can vibe with this. It’s not like his heart is suddenly pounding in his chest and he feels so hyperaware of Hoseok’s warm breath against his neck and feels like he’s gonna explode. It’s fine. 

Hyunwoo manages to slowly rub Hoseok’s back in what he hopes is a comforting manner. Hoseok relaxes even more against him, as if he’d thought Hyunwoo wouldn’t return his embrace....

“Hoseok,” Hyunwoo starts again, remembering that he’d wanted to say something important. “You... mean too much to me right now for me to even think about you not being by my side... And I’m not just saying it to make you feel better.” 

His ears must be completely red now, and Hyunwoo was grateful Hoseok couldn’t see it. “I know things can change anytime. But I don’t want to leave you. And I... promise.. I’ll try my best to not let anything come between us...” 

There’s silence for a few seconds, and it feels like hours to Hyunwoo, who’s just sitting there holding Hoseok and feeling shy and too full of strange feelings to try to make sense of any of them. 

Finally, Hoseok makes a sound, a small giggle. “Your ears are red right now aren’t they.” 

Hyunwoo groans. “Hoseok, don’t make me take it all back—“

“No, no!” Hoseok laughs, squeezing Hyunwoo even more. “You’re not allowed to take anything back.”

“Well maybe if you let me breathe a little—“

“Sorry,” Hoseok’s still smiling, Hyunwoo can feel his cheeks against him, but he lets up on the hug just enough so he isn’t crushing Hyunwoo. 

“Don’t apologize,” Hyunwoo says into his hair, leaning back into the couch to get comfortable. He wonders if he should let go of Hoseok now... This is definitely the longest they’ve ever hugged. But when he tries loosening his grip, Hoseok still clings to him so... it must be okay to keep caressing his back and arms and ruffling his hair. 

Hoseok adjusts himself, shifting up to lean more against Hyunwoo. “Thank you... for saying all that. And for being with me.” He mumbles something else Hyunwoo doesn’t catch, but the next thing he knows Hoseok has put a leg over his and— Now he understands. This isn’t hugging anymore. They’re cuddling. 

The realization makes his ears burn again, his heart start to race in his chest and he can only hope Hoseok doesn’t hear it. This is... really nice. Hyunwoo can’t deny he really, really likes it. 

In fact, this probably tops all his other favorite late night talks with Hoseok, and now he’s not sure if he’ll be able to do this again without cuddling Hoseok... 

What had he even been worrying about before Hoseok joined him?? He has no idea now. Every thought is just Hoseok. 

Precious, sweet Hoseok, his arms and legs almost tangled with his own, quiet breaths in the darkness, pale skin warm against his... 

For this first time since debuting, Hyunwoo wonders what life would be like if he hadn’t become an idol. Would he still be holding Hoseok close to him, the pair in their own little safe bubble while the world slept around them? Would he be able to do this every day, when they don’t have schedules keeping them away from each other all the time? When they don’t have the world watching their every step, waiting for a chance to call them out and destroy their careers.... 

Honestly.. It doesn’t matter. He’s here now and Hoseok is with him. The past is the past and if anything, Hyunwoo is more than grateful that everything led up to this moment with Hoseok. 

Hoseok... Hoseok who really means the world to him. Hyunwoo never has to hide who he is around him. He can laugh freely, mess around without thinking of his image or his responsibilities, can share his troubling thoughts without feeling guilty (well, he’s still working on that one). But Hyunwoo just loves how easy it is between them. 

Sometimes he does feel like Hoseok deserves more. Like when Hyunwoo isn’t able to do more for him to help him with his problems... or when he doesn’t know the right words to say. Hoseok always says his presence is enough but... Hyunwoo wants to be better for him. Because he deserves it. 

Hyunwoo’s thoughts disperse when Hoseok’s hand slips down on his chest. Gentle snores fill the silent space, so soft that they sound more like sighs. Hoseok is asleep... with his head nuzzled deep in Hyunwoo’s shoulder and legs still half intertwined with his own. 

Hyunwoo knows that if he shifted back enough to see Hoseok’s face (which he would never, because there’s no way he’d risk waking him up and ruining this moment) he would see how angelic and young he always looked when asleep. His lips just a little pouty and those long eyelashes casting shadows over his soft cheeks... 

_I want to protect him_. The thought flashes through his mind, his hold on Hoseok tightening just a bit. He should be protected and safe and happy... because he deserves it. 

Hyunwoo leans his head back against the couch, but it naturally falls on top of the younger’s as his own tiredness gets the best of him. 

His mind continues to wander lazily, thinking about everything and nothing. And Hoseok. 

There’s nothing he wants more than to stay with Hoseok however long he wants him and ease his constant fear of being separated. But Hyunwoo isn’t perfect, not even close to it. To be honest he doesn’t quite understand why Hoseok trusts him so much, he doesn’t think he’s really even done anything amazing for him... But he does know how precious Hoseok’s trust is. 

He knows how lucky he is to be able to call Hoseok a close friend, to share late night talks and cuddle like this with him at 3 in the morning. 

The terrible thing is, Hyunwoo is starting to realize he wants more than this. What exactly that “more” is... he’s not sure. He wants more... but it seems so terribly selfish when Hoseok is already sharing so much of himself with Hyunwoo... right? 

He shouldn’t... because... 

Hyunwoo blinks open his eyes, unaware of having closed them. Blearily, he makes sure Hoseok is still sleeping soundly. He pulls the blanket up higher so it covers both of Hoseok’s shoulders, and lets his eyes drift shut again. 

For some reason he feels an urge to press a kiss to Hoseok’s forehead. He figures it’s a good thing he doesn’t act on impulses like that. 

But if he did... if he did, then maybe he’d brush aside some of Hoseok’s hair, let his lips just barely ghost over his warm skin.. and in return maybe, just maybe... he’d receive a gentle whisper of loving words, and the sensation of cheeks raised in a smile against his chest... 

If only he did...

* * *

The next morning Hyunwoo wakes up on the couch alone. The blanket slips down his body as he weakly stretches and gets up. He’s half relieved that Hoseok isn’t here, since he has no idea what he would say to him if he brought up their little cuddle session last night. 

Hyunwoo manages to drag himself up from the couch when the sound of a door opening travels down the hall, accompanied by voices. 

Kihyun appears first, fully dressed and in a rush to leave. “Hyung, you’re awake,” is what he greets him with while tugging on his shoes. “There’s food in the microwave.” 

Hyunwoo blinks. Kihyun had been in the kitchen earlier? Had he seen him and H-

He doesn’t have time to finish worrying before Hoseok himself comes running to the door. He’s adorably rumpled with his hair sticking up at odd angles and his socks mismatched. 

“Why do you always rush me!!” Hoseok complains, although he sounds like he’s in a good mood. “We’re not even late.”

“We’re late for being early. Plus with that hair and those eye bags the makeup noonas will need all the time they can to make you look presentable,” Kihyun replies sharply, although his gestures are the complete opposite as he helps Hoseok put his jacket on. 

Hyunwoo sleepily realizes its the same expensive jacket he’d gifted Hoseok for his birthday. He’s wondering if he should tell them to have a nice day, or if he should say something different to Hoseok.

But he ends up doing nothing and instead just staring at Hoseok when he makes his way over to stand in front of him. 

Hoseok’s eyes are bright and sparkly (so cute) as he smiles. And then he tugs Hyunwoo’s head down to press a quick kiss to his forehead. 

Hyunwoo just sort of shuts down. 

“Good morning Hyunwoo,” Hoseok says happily, before skipping back to Kihyun and opening the door. 

What— What just happened—

“I think you broke him,” Kihyun’s voice floats in from outside the door. The sound of Hoseok giggling follows it before the door closes, leaving Hyunwoo standing there alone with ears redder than a tomato. 

He— Hoseok just— what? Why.. how did... What. 

A faint memory comes back to him like a dream. Him brushing his lips against Hoseok’s forehead in the dark— wait had he actually done that?! Was that why.. Hoseok had just kissed him??

Did it mean... 

Hyunwoo takes his hand and closes his own mouth before he swallows a fly and chokes to death before he figure out the reason behind the kiss. If it had been anyone else, he probably wouldn’t have read so deep into it, after all everyone knows Hoseok loves showering the other guys with affection and hugs and kisses. But this is Hyunwoo. 

His mind is churning, it could have meant so many things but one things for sure... that beautiful smile on Hoseok’s face meant he was happy. And he’d been smiling like that at Hyunwoo.. 

“Ahhh, this is too much,” Hyunwoo all but whines, pressing his hands to his cheeks. It’s extremely out of character for him but at least there’s no one around to hear him. If there was, it would probably be quite embarrassing since Hyunwoo also happens to have the biggest smile on his face. 

He feels like he’s a teenager again, all shy giggles and butterflies because _Hoseok kissed him._

Something had changed between them last night, and Hyunwoo has no idea what it could lead to. But if it makes Hoseok happy it must be a good change. And Hyunwoo can’t wait to find out (and maybe also receive some more kisses along the way).


End file.
